Undercover Christian
I can’t believe I’m getting to do what I do for a job. I sit with people who are struggling with mental illness and get to help facilitate change and growth in them.
I’m being trained and learning something new everyday. I have to remember a lot of material though, so that I don’t lose focus on the client’s progress and documenting their goals.
I also need to establish boundaries and help my clients establish their boundaries as well. But man – that means being a good communicator. So much of the role I am in is listening.
So I sit and I hear that they’re struggling or working on a goal. I guess I don’t mind listening to their stories or complaints or struggles, I just wish we all knew what the solutions were to our problems. In that case, we wouldn’t really have any problems, just hiccups.
This job is scary. At first, I thought this was my time to shine (I realize how vain that sounds). I’ve come around to realize – it is so NOT about me. It’s assisting my clients uncovering their light to shine.
It’s putting my story and blog and testimony to the side and letting the client communicate to me their desires, needs and interests. And it may be nothing close to what I want, desire or am interested in sharing.
I’m also trying to balance wisdom in the workplace. And by that I mean – how to live a life of faith and integrity. I am seeing people from all different backgrounds and stories – most without Jesus in their lives.
It is becoming quite the challenge to have the responsibility to help the least of these, without telling them about the One who can produce the biggest change, the truest transformation. I feel as though I’m beginning to compromise.
I feel like a selfish undercover Christian to not share my faith and testimony and Lord with them. I don’t want to forfeit the opportunity to witness to someone on account of fear of man and the risk of losing my job, as my clients have the right to know where this beggar found her bread.
It feels vulnerable just sharing this post. But I do have things they don’t have, that they can have… peace, joy, stability, blessings, comfort, closure…most of all God Himself.
The arguments in my mind keeping me from all the sharing I could be doing are telling me it’s pointless: Either they won’t believe me, and will ignore what I say and it will fall on deaf ears, or
They’ll tell on me.
Then what?
My employer will reprimand me.
Then what?
I’ll do it again, and then I’ll be fired.
Then what?
I’ll be laughed at, mocked, ignored.
The cost of following Jesus is much. But the cost is not too great that I can’t afford it.
What I can’t afford is hiding my faith.
That will bankrupt my soul.
Mark 8:36 “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”
0 Comments
Kathryne
I love that the Lord opened this door for you and I love hearing your thoughts about it. Why? Because sometimes our assignment is not what we think it is. You desire “to help the least of these, without telling them about the One who can produce the biggest change.” I was in your shoes many years in my career, unable to freely discuss Christ while hearing/seeing GREAT needs. You can intercede. Prayer changes people and situations! You can take their secrets to Father, plead Jesus blood over them, cancel enemy assignments and release God’s Word over them in the secret place. It requires humiility bec you’ll be unseen, you’ll have to wait for your reward, but you can help them in a MIGHTIER way than medicine or therapy. You, my dear one are undercover for a specific purpose. Will you accept this behind the scenes mission?
Katie R. Dale
Kate,
Oh I love your heart. Thank you for that reminder. Prayer is going to be my lifeline interceding for them. I needed that word. Thanks. Hope you are well my Word Weaver friend! Miss you!
Kathryne
Miss you, too, sweetness. I attended a SPWW mtg yesterday after a long absence. Great seeing John again! We both bragged on your writing and personal progress to the group out of admiration for your growth. Keep following God’s lead! You’re doing great!
Upon Being Healthy
The worst thing I ever heard was that my faith wasn’t strong enough. If it were I would be so anxious and I would t be depressed.
That puts an enormous amount of pressure on people. I was already having awful thoughts that maybe I really wasn’t a good enough Christian because I couldn’t pray away the depression and anxiety. Then someone, a person with authority over me, told me exactly what I had been worrying over.
It sent me down a spiral. A dark and lonely spiral of constantly worrying that I was going to Hell because I wasn’t Christian enough or faithful enough.
My current therapist has made a suggestion to seek out some form of worship because I need community. I need to be around others who share my beliefs and values. Whether that’s through meditation or prayer or Sunday worship – she said that was up to me. Hearing it that way has put no pressure on me. I don’t feel like I’m failing God or being a bad Christian.
I believe mental illness is not a lack of faith. I don’t agree that it is a total spiritual battle. Mental illness runs through my family. Both sides of my family suffer from it to various degrees.
It could be more harmful to bring up seeking God as the solution to their ills. Ask about their community of people. How do they find peace in our hectic world.
Most of all just listening and being a reliable person that your clients k it will listen to them is your testimony. Showing up and caring says VOLUMES. Think about Mary and Martha. Who was busy and who listened?
Just an idea.
Katie R. Dale
Upon,
My apologies. I am by no means trying to communicate condemnation. Mental illness is not a punishment and certainly does not equate to “not even faith”. If you read my story through this blog – I too once thought that if I had “just enough faith” I would be healed. (Salvation is a different thing). But my point is that God is the source of healing and He used medication to do that in my life. I do appreciate your point of view. I am saying that as a Christian, I am commanded to be obedient to Jesus’ command and share with those lost and hurting that He can ultimately provide peace that lasts. Medication is a peace of mind which helps. My ultimate concern is that I let down my Savior in sharing with my clients the hope only He can bring… the struggle for the correct medication is definitely not overnight, but God can bring it. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that anyone can find the perfect combination of meds. I just want my clients to know that if they’re wondering if God is real, well, I want them to know that He is. He is mighty and all powerful and can do a miracle in their lives too!
Thanks for your input. I guess I needed to clarify that. And I appreciate your encouragement to just show up and listen/care. I just want to make sure I am doing my heavenly duties primarily – hand in hand with – my earthly ones.
Hope that makes sense!