I can’t believe I’m getting to do what I do for a job. I sit with people who are struggling with mental illness and get to help facilitate change and growth in them. I’m being trained and learning something new everyday. I have to remember a lot of material though, so that I don’t lose focus on the client’s progress and documenting their goals. I also need to establish boundaries and help my clients establish their boundaries as well. But man – that means being a good communicator. So much of the role I am in is listening. So I sit and I hear that they’re struggling or working on a goal. I guess I don’t mind listening to their stories or complaints or struggles, I just wish we all knew what the solutions were to our problems. In that case, we wouldn’t really have any problems, just hiccups. This job is scary. At first, I thought this was my time to shine (I realize how vain that sounds). I’ve come around to realize – it is so NOT about me. It’s assisting my clients uncovering their light to shine. It’s putting my story and blog and testimony to the side and letting the client communicate to me their desires, needs and interests. And it may be nothing close to what I want, desire or am interested in sharing. I’m also trying to balance wisdom in the workplace. And by that I mean – how to live a life of faith and integrity. I am seeing people from all different backgrounds and stories – most without Jesus in their lives. It is becoming quite the challenge to have the responsibility to help the least of these, without telling them about the One who can produce the biggest change, the truest transformation. I feel as though I’m beginning to compromise. I feel like a selfish undercover Christian to not share my faith and testimony and Lord with them. I don’t want to forfeit the opportunity to witness to someone on account of fear of man and the risk of losing my job, as my clients have the right to know where this beggar found her bread. It feels vulnerable just sharing this post. But I do have things they don’t have, that they can have… peace, joy, stability, blessings, comfort, closure…most of all God Himself. The arguments in my mind keeping me from all the sharing I could be doing are telling me it’s pointless: Either they won’t believe me, and will ignore what I say and it will fall on deaf ears, or They’ll tell on me. Then what? My employer will reprimand me. Then what? I’ll do it again, and then I’ll be fired. Then what? I’ll be laughed at, mocked, ignored. The cost of following Jesus is much. But the cost is not too great that I can’t afford it. What I can’t afford is hiding my faith. That will bankrupt my soul. Mark 8:36 “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”