Advocate Angela McDonald Guest Posts: “Being Faithful To Someone With Mental Illness”

Ignorance Isn’t Bliss

Those in the church who know of my bipolar disorder have never sat down and asked me how I am…and I am angry about it.

Am I handling my mood swings okay? Am I managing my symptoms? How is my family handling all of it?… No one has asked… Not once.

Christians, hear me out: We. Are. A. Church. We are supposed to be the literal hands and feet of Jesus but few of us actually follow through. Why? Is it too uncomfortable, or does no one just not care enough to try?

The lack of others’ interest in my personal wellbeing makes me think I should just disappear. I think, It’s not like I would be missed by anyone. I know this is my mental illness talking, but I can’t help to feel this way when no one seems to take the effort to care.

What can the mentally ill do?

How can we change our mind shift into thinking I am who I am, and they can take me or leave me? You will find that you feel better about yourself in mental illness if you keep the following pointers in mind:

1. Focus on what is going right. Stop negative thoughts in its tracks and identify one positive thing that has happened recently, no matter how small. If you can’t think of something positive, try to focus your attention on something you are excited about in the future.
2. Notice others. Be an observer. When you see someone else who looks like they’re struggling, help them out. It takes a lot of effort to help others out when you’re in a rut yourself, but you will feel better about yourself afterwards. It’s amazing how big your heart can swell up with joy when you help someone other than yourself.
3. Pray for someone in your church to befriend. Be specific about what you’re looking for in a friend. Someone who will listen to you and not judge you. Someone who will keep tabs on you. Someone who will encourage you.
4. Read scripture throughout your day to encourage you that you’re not alone. Ask God to heal your broken heart and for Him to give you the strength to forgive the people in your life who have hurt you.

1. • “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of distress.” Psalm 25:16-17
   • “For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own.” 1 Samuel 12:22
   • “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

What can others do?

Quality family and friendships are almost prerequisites to having success with a mental illness. So, what can our family and friends do?

1. Try. Try to get out of your comfort zone and befriend someone at your church. Ask for their number and actually follow through with those lunch plans you’ve been talking about.
2. Pray. Pray hard for your friend. For their family. For their health. Then follow up with that prayer and…
3. Ask. Ask us how we’re really doing. Are we sleeping well? Are we taking our medication? How are our therapy appointments going?
4. Do. You’d be surprised to find out how hard the simplest tasks are to someone with a mental illness. Sometimes it takes all the effort in the world just to take a shower. Throw in a couple of kids, and things can quickly become overwhelming. Take your friend a meal or watch her kids while she goes to a therapy appointment.
5. Be present. Sometimes we just need someone who is there for us no matter what. Someone who will come sit with us and watch Netflix. Someone we can call and talk things through with. Someone who will face the days to come with.

Your Turn

Friends, what’s your next step? Maybe you’ve already reached out to someone. Maybe you’re wanting to but you’re not quite sure how to. Either way, choose one of the ideas I mentioned and take that next step in your daily life. You have no idea how much your actions can make a difference in those lives who are struggling with mental illness.

Angela McDonald has been through the trenches of postpartum depression and anxiety and has been diagnosed with having Bipolar Disorder after the birth of her second child. Faith is an important part of her life and she knows that mental illness can make us feel far from God, especially when we need Him the most. Her goal is to encourage others that faith, therapy and medication can all work together. You can find her at thementalrefuge.com and on Instagram @thementalrefuge.