Update Blog Post for August 2020

Hi all – it’s been a minute since I found the time and motivation and maybe even courage to post anything. I think between Jaxon’s funeral, returning to casework, and moving out of the house this week, I’ve been stretched thin. Too thin to blog regularly, for sure. So here’s an update blog post:

The Past 4 Months

I want you to know I’m still here and doing well. I have handled the passing of my angel baby especially well through talk therapy with my counselor, and some would say I am not grieving or facing it. Honestly, I was not so deeply grieved that I was devastated. It was a short, sweet and sad time, but I am keeping my eyes forward on what is to come. I still believe my son was too perfect for earth, and that’s why God chose to take him home. So I can’t be anything but happy for him and the eternal life he is experiencing in Jesus now. I’m not in shock – never was – nor in denial. I’ve simply accepted the facts and did everything I could within my power to make Jaxon’s life the best that was possible in the time granted.

Back to Work

As far as work goes, I have returned to my past career field as a caseworker meeting on the phone with clients to help them figure out better ways to handle their health. I have been busy and glad to return to help and fill the time I would otherwise go stir-crazy without that daily structured schedule. It is requiring focus and attention and eight hours of my day now that I don’t have to spend doing other things (like blogging and social media).

And the House

That said, we’ve also been in the middle of readying our home to go on the market. What a whirlwind – or tornado – that’s been. We listed it yesterday and we had three showings that first day, so we’re hoping it sells quickly (of course). There’s not much inventory on the market so we’ve got good reason to believe it won’t be long.

Coming Soon…

We’ve since moved in with Chris’s parents and now that we’re settling in there and the housework to sell is (mostly) over, I’ve decided to post this update. In other news, Chris got an assignment to Eglin AFB, FL near famous Destin and Fort Walton Beach area. We plan to move mid-April 2021. I’m looking forward to returning to Florida as we lived there from 2009-2014 together in Cocoa Beach area. Now we’ll be on the gulf side. Powder white sand, clear blue water, and few tracings of hurricane paths. Sounds ideal to me. Maybe we’ll find a place on the beach. We’re thinking condo. Bring it on!

Honest Feelings on the Blog

I know it’s been a while since I posted. My feelings about blogging have waxed and waned. I’ve been afraid to post since I’ve been away for so long (2 months or so now) and not that I worry, but I don’t want to disappoint you as my readers either. I doubt you want to hear from me because I think “I’m not experiencing symptoms of mental illness or struggling with my mental health – why would anyone want to hear what I have to say? After all the name of the blog is BIPOLAR brave…”

I hope me being honest with you is okay and my transparency about my bipolar disorder and its current state doesn’t discourage or offend anyone. I am taking my meds daily and continuing therapy and it’s like I don’t want to have anything to do with talking about bipolar anymore. Do I have anything to offer? I see other mental health advocates sharing their struggles and revelations and think “Why should I share if I have nothing relevant to contribute?” So that’s where I’m at…am I being too critical?

My Hope for You and Me

That’s about all I have to share today. I hope you’re doing well in spite of the way the world is going right now. Personally, I’m focusing on praying for personal revival and a deeper walk with Jesus. That’s all I have the capacity to spend in my spiritual life. I hope you’re getting quiet before the Lord in the mornings and searching for Him in earnest. Friends, that is what it’s going to take in times like these. Getting real with myself before God is probably the most imperative thing for me to be able to face the rest of my day and the rest of the world. I hope you’re taking that quality time with Him too…God knows the day is not the same without it.

Thanks for reading today, I hope you’re staying brave, bold and real. And don’t ask of yourself more than what you can do – leave the rest to God.

Xo

Katie