It’s hard to give thanks. Thankfulness is not for the faint of heart, especially when things don’t go your way.
At the moment I’m thankful for the small things, like getting ambitions accomplished while my little one sleeps.
Guys, this mom/parenting thing is no joke. I feel like I’ve hit a mountain requiring thoughtful and intentional effort. And I just want to be honest: I struggle with this daily these days. I don’t know how you do it, parents, especially with a brain disorder in active status.
I may not be in an episode of mania or depression, but I think parenting is its own challenge. I flip through my social media feeds and a fellow writer friend posts about structuring daily activities with toddlers, setting aside different rooms for different activities.
I can’t even. The guilt starts. I ignore the suggestions for the moment, but really, I see my inability to cope, on some level, to be a recipe for disappointing my child. I don’t know, I’ve never raised a child before, and now I wish I’d read dozens of books on parenting before I had my child. Because, really, where is the time even to read anymore? I feel like it’s blowing in the wind.
Maybe you can relate. But even more importantly– what do you think to yourself when you’re ready to lose all patience under heaven?
I may be overreacting a bit, typing this frantically before Little Miss wakes. I know I can’t do it all…but isn’t it tempting to think I could?
Do you daydream, fellow mamas, of the day your little toddler is off to school and your days can come into focus again? Do you struggle in the present toddler age and stage to be present and play blocks, while conflicted because you want to produce and create content?
Last week I spoke with my therapist about my resistance to implementing a daily routine with my toddler. Resistance was the word that we tossed around, as was resentful, as was reconciliation. But I’m still not sure how to frame up my perspective. Can you relate? Any wisdom for the wondering mom?
For the next few months, especially, I will have to adjust to a lifestyle of something like corralling cats, with some help from family, but mostly with a lot of coffee, escape blog posts, and the grace of God.
Bear with me, and stay bold, brave, and REAL.
Katie
What do you think?