…On Turning 30

It was a sweet day, spending my 30th birthday on Sunday in the company of church family and my husband. It’s now been a whole five days of being 30 (as I write this) and I’m beginning to actually feel like I can act my age and adult.

Chris inspired me to start a list of “30 Things To Accomplish In My Thirties.” So while he and I brainstormed activities and achievements I desire to reach, turning 30 began in a fresh and exciting way.

But then Monday night came. Chris and I spent Labor Day with his parents and on the ride home we got into a fight. I would tell you it was an all-out ugly yelling match, but that’d be a lie. Instead, it was a silent case. Between the two of us, who’s afraid of confrontation? This lady. Who tends to resort to determined silence when angry? It’s safe to say it’s not me. So that concoction of brooding tension is something else. But I digress.

When the apologies had been given and I decided to lie down for the night, my ever-consoling and tender-hearted husband came into the bedroom and sat down next to me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, just sad.” For some unknown reason I was feeling melancholy. I felt like I was questioning my efforts with my book, my blog, and bipolar “mental health advocacy.”

My dear partner in life, wise beyond his years, came alongside me. His words rang true through my downtrodden heart.

“People have times of question. They get reflective, especially at life milestones, whether having a baby, getting married, or turning 30 like you.”

He admitted to his similar feelings when he turned 30.

“It’s normal to feel the way you are. You’ve put a lot into your book and blog and at times like these, you wonder if it’s worth it, or if you should be doing what you’re doing.

Sometimes you have moments like this in life where you’re questioning everything, and that’s just a part of life.

So what you’re feeling is normal. Let yourself face those feelings. It’s good to question what you’ve been doing and where you’re at. If you didn’t have those questioning thoughts, you’d be going through life without taking notice of those things you want to pursue.

You’re not alone, and this is part of hitting a milestone marker in life.”

Boom. I wish I had recorded the conversation because it was so powerful. But it’s so comforting to know that a big event or life threshold is nothing too small to ignore.

I’m thankful for 30 years. I’m thankful for a husband who’s older and wiser. And I’m thankful I have the freedom to share this, on my little cloud of the world wide web.

Life is sweet. Enjoy the moments.