If I Return To La La Land

When I entered my manic state of bipolar, my family coined the term “La La Land,” due to my delusional attributes. Since being in my right mind, I’ve held the positive outlook that I would never return, so long as I remain on my medicine. I speculate in this poetic post how the manic state is still a possibility, and how I would interpret the chaotic, merciless happenings, should I ever return. 

If I Return To La La Land

If I return to La La Land,

It won’t be to conform,

They’ll admit me as bipolar,

I’ll admit it’s just a storm.

If I return to La La Land,

It wouldn’t be my first,

They’ll say I’m there to get better,

I’ll say, This ain’t the worst.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll be that I’ve returned,

They’ll show me what they thought I knew,

I’ll show them what I learned.

If I return to La La Land,

It won’t be for the ride,

They’ll make it persecution, but,

I’ll have nothing to hide.

If I return to La La Land,

It will be World War Three,

They’ll wish they hadn’t touched this one,

I’ll wish it wasn’t me.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll be like Peter Pan’s Never,

They’ll think I’m there for good and done,

I’ll think I’m doomed forever.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll pay to know the layout,

They’ll have made some renovations,

I’ll have to afford a payout.

If I return to La La Land,

Not long after I arrive,

They’ll try to make me settle in,

I’ll try to leave alive.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll get what’s coming to it,

They’ll hope they never let me in,

I’ll hope I just get through it.

If I return to La La Land,

A crisis I’ll return to,

There may be more mistakes this time,

I may be more careful not to.

If I return to La La Land,

I’ll have to fight the urge,

They’ll respond by drugging me up,

I’ll respond by singing a dirge.

If I return to La La Land,

The voices may return to taunt me,

They’ll try a tune in harmony,

I’ll try not to let them haunt me.

If I return to La La Land,

My sanity they may take,

They’ll see to locking me up again,

I’ll see to staying awake.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll be a speedy bind,

They’ll wonder if a screw got loose,

I’ll wonder if I lost my mind.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll be frightful insanity,

They’ll subtly destroy my brain cells,

I’ll subtly destroy their vanity.

If I return to La La Land,

It’ll only be a visit,

They’ll pray they get a chance again,

I’ll pray God’s Day to miss it.

If I return to La La Land,

If not careful I’ll stay down,

They’ll have a vacant lot for me,

I’ll have to quick skip town.

If I return to La La Land,

I’ll make it back to tell,

They’ll hope I never will return,

I’ll hope they stay in Hell.