Faith It Till You Make It: And Other Tips To Improve Your Resiliency

Resiliency is not an automatic characteristic. Like any strength, it improves with practice.

Exercise puts stress on the body – good stress. When I trained for a half marathon, I had to work my way up to the 13.1 miles the race called for. It took time and effort, and a lot of stress on my body, and stretching my distance gradually and growing my endurance did me good. It provided the ability to eventually achieve those 13.1 miles continuously.

Emotional resiliency is similar in that with a healthy response to daily stressors, you can become stronger and more ready for what life can throw at you. To do this you have to practice healthy thought patterns to condition your mind and spirit. Then past traumas can heal quicker, and you will be able to deal with future challenges in healthier ways. Here are some tips to improve your ability to heal and strengthen your mindset, especially in the midst of a mood disorder or mental health condition.

Faith it till you make it

As God says, you cannot please Him without faith (Hebrews 11:6). The fullest life comes from a healthy amount of faith in what He promises He will accomplish for and through you. If you really believe God, you will obey what He tells you to do so that He can show you what He is able to do. As always, for those who love Him and are called according to the plans and purposes He holds, everything will work out for the good (Romans 8:28). You can be positive and hopeful in this: that no matter what does come your way, He sees it before it gets to you, and it goes through His hands before you go through it.

Application for Mental Illness: Within a mood disorder, depression may tempt you to give up on God. To those thinking you must prove your belief or else forfeit your faith, remember that God is stronger than your best efforts, and faithful when you’re not. He can fight the battle for you, and He will. Sometimes you are to “actively” rest, and that’s having faith in His timing and ability.

Choose an attitude of gratitude

Thankfulness goes hand in hand with joy. Thinking on, appreciating and valuing life and the things within it, even the hardships and times that are confusing and painful, makes life more bearable and enjoyable. Taking life for granted turns your vision into a zombified gaze.

Application for Mental Illness: The emotional mood swings or irritable moments in a bipolar episode can be softened by choosing to think on what you have and are grateful for. Depression can tempt you to despair, and anxiety can try to steal your joy. Don’t give in to the temptation to take life for granted. Make time to write a list of things you’re thankful for, even if you don’t “feel” it. It’s proven scientifically, that dwelling on those things you’re thankful for reconditions your brain chemistry.

When tough times come, adjust your sails

Recall the allegory of the man who denied any rescuing from first responders while he ended up drowning from the flood, claiming he was waiting for God to save him? He meets God in Heaven and God asks him why he didn’t take the help of the first responders that He sent him. Well, the same is true with tools God has put in place for your mind.

Application for Mental Illness: Therapy, psychiatry and natural supports are there for your healing and sanity in the world of mood disorders. I like to tell my clients in case management, you do what you can do, to the best of your ability – and that’s all you can do. You also take your meds, go to therapy, and talk it out with friends and family that God has provided.

Call on others for backup

There are safe people in the world you can trust and can get help from. Talking to a mental health professional, clergy person, trusted family member or friend can help you get back on your feet. And don’t stop there. Keep those relationships. Hold on to those bonds that keep you accountable andchallenge you to do what’s right, and direct you to sound answers. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14). Maintaining those relationships when you’re in a right frame of mind will allow your friends to help you identify when you’re getting off kilter.

Application for Mental Illness: If you don’t have a professional mental health provider, look into the Christian Therapist Network or American Association of Christian Counselors. For a good psychiatrist, ask fellow church members, family, or your counselor for recommendations.

Give of yourself

Looking outside yourself for what you can do for others is a helpful step to improving resiliency. Just think of all the positive impact you can have on someone else, even if it’s just one person. If you give of your time, energy, and talents you will make a difference, and at the very least, get out of your head. Sometimes you dwell on the past or your own thoughts for too long and you get self-sick. Kind of like eating too much of your favorite dessert. Instead, like my grandma says, “everything in moderation”.

Application for Mental Illness: Take inventory of your skills and abilities. What is there a need for in this world, and where do your passions and strengths meet those needs? That’s what Max Lucado calls, “The Sweet Spot.” Are you able to find employment in that area, or volunteer your time in that vocation? Do it!

Be disciplined

Disciplining my body to run countless (like 8 to 10) miles daily was a habit I chose to make. To make habits, you can’t think about them for too long before time is up and another day is gone. Just get out there and do. Be consistent in life. Your time is a precious commodity and it can’t be gotten back once it’s passed. Show up and volunteer to be the one that makes hard choices. Do your due diligence in your job, family, friendships and every area of life. Self-discipline is hard at first, but you are either making one seemingly hard choice in the present, or you’re forfeiting the future you really want.

Application for Mental Illness: Starting out taking small steps lays a good foundation for growth. Make a to do list and set a timer for 15 minutes. Take 15 minutes to do something you have to do, then another 15 minutes for what you’d like to do for fun. Keep rotating things you have to do with things you enjoy doing.

Be merciful

Mercy is an agent of healing when applied to your relationships. Being merciful and forgiving others is not weakness, nor is it a means to allowing trespassers to cross you again. It’s not letting someone off the hook for their behaviors either. Being merciful is a way to let go of the hurt and anger they caused you, and allows them to be accountable for their actions in God’s timing, not your own. Sometimes justice is served on earth, other times it comes after this life. In either case, not letting the trespass come between the two of you signals to the other person they have been forgiven and you are healing, or are working toward healing. Mercy shows your offender you have strength (resiliency) in setting them free from revenge. This shows how you’ve come back emotionally stronger to deal with potential future offenses and hardships.

• To note: Healing and mercy don’t always mean you just go back to the way things were. Sometimes mercy and healing involve saying goodbye to someone even though you forgive them.  You forgive them, but you can’t just let them continue to do that to you.  It’s like church discipline, you try your best to fix the situation and bring the relationship back, but at some point the cancer needs to be excised, and that’s the loving/merciful thing to do.

Application for Mental Illness: Forgiving others may come easier than forgiving yourself for messing up in the past due to how easy it was to act that way in a mood swing or skewed state of mind. If you have trouble forgiving yourself, remember that God has forgiven you if you’re a Christian, and you aren’t above God. To withhold mercy from yourself would not be kind. Put those mistakes and offenses you’ve committed in your past. Ask God to help you let go of them and turn to Him, to see you as He does and change your perspective.