Self-care vs. Self-care?
You can see that there is some controversy in Christian circles today, to use the terms of psychology-coined concepts like “self-care” and “self-talk.” Some would argue that the suggested “self” preceded acts are in fact, “self”-driven, and thus “self”-centered, equating anyone doing them with being sinful and selfish.
On the contrary, though, the Bible is full of examples and theology that taking care of one’s “self,” and being “self”-aware is a healthy, God-ordained, natural way to live.
I do want to make one clear distinction that is, that self-actualization is not a Biblical, Christian notion, nor does it ultimately fit in the concept of denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following Jesus, but rather smacks of self-lordship.
Self-actualization is becoming more popular a notion these days among popular Christian thought leaders.
Unfortunately, as people are itching to hear what they want to hear, truth becomes a more foreign notion than ever.
Relativism, in a culture that disregards absolute truth, marries with self-soothing language to pacify our egos and cultivate a sense of esteem and identity in self, that rivals any sense of self-denial that Jesus explicitly teaches.
Instead, teachers these days, more and more now, are touting the old notion in new packaging: that you can be friends with the world and friends with God. But that’s an entirely different post for another day.
Back to Biblical self-care.
What I Mean By “Biblical self-care”
When I write of Biblical self-care, I want the reader to know I mean God-ordained, God-designed care for yourself. I do not mean self-actualization of pacifying your ego and soothing your esteem when your feelings are ignored, and “living your best life now”.
Nor do I mean placing your feelings first before God’s commands.
God is clear we are to esteem others as better than ourselves, meaning, to think of and treat others as having more priority than yourself.
This is in line with self-denial as Christ teaches in the New Testament. But at the same time, taking care of yourself is not to be ignored. Just prioritized differently.
Do take care of others, just make sure you don’t forget yourself either.
When it is time to care for yourself, give yourself the same care and grace you would give your neighbor, your family, your friends. We are to love others, as ourselves, after all. As we love ourselves, we are to love others, in other words.
How do we love ourselves? Begin to answer that with how we should love others – as Christ loved us.
Here are a few ideas of how to care for ourselves, in a manner that would make the Father proud:
1. Take time to listen to God’s voice and adjust your heart
Looking into God’s word is a hard thing at times, depending on what it’s showing us we need to change about ourselves, but it’s where we start. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what He wants you to learn through what passages of scripture you’re reading, and how you should acclimate to those commands. He is, after, Shepherd of our hearts, knowing our nature and innermost being the best.
2. Recognize your need to identify your own voice, how you truly feel, and understand why.
Reflection and prayer can help determine your own individual thoughts and feelings. But don’t stop there.
This is where many, especially many Christian thought leaders encouraging self-actualization, get off track. Feelings are indicators, not the ends. They are the means to an end.
You should identify your feelings to help you figure out where you stand in relationship to God’s word, to God, and to others.
It may take time to evaluate and test the heart, but in prayer and pondering, answers and truths come to the light. In the light – especially in the light of God’s word, we can evaluate our motives and see where we were self-seeking, or where we were misguided, or where we were blatantly wrong.
This does not sit well in a room with self-actualizing heretics – where there is no place for admitting “I’m wrong. I’ve sinned against God.”
But may I remind you, “friendship with the world is enmity with God.”
We cannot love God and love the passions of our hearts too. The desires and lusts of our hearts can be complex and deceptive. These are not Lord, or else Jesus is not Lord of our hearts.
If it’s a God-given desire, pure in nature, God will make a way to use these passions for His glory and purposes. If it’s not, let Him burn them up in the holy conflagration of his all-consuming fire.
3. Do treat your body right, and don’t neglect its needs.
We are all vessels carrying the glory of God, and to ignore our flesh is not as godly a thing as has been thought by some leaders in the faith.
The flesh is not an evil, and the sustenance it needs is not a negotiable, either. Food is for the body. Our bodies are our physical vehicles for our spirits and souls. There is a time for fasting, withstanding from food, but the majority of the time we are to fuel our bodies in the most efficiently healthy ways.
Hey, look — A BONUS self-care suggestion –
Worship God!
Let the music and words move your spirit. God inhabits the praise of his people. While you sing and make the music, God is glorified and you are edified. There is healing power in the presence of God. Our sin nature doesn’t flourish when we throw down its mantel and extol our Almighty Creator.
Giving up and surrendering our preferences, comforts, usual and habitual opinions and feelings, cures our self-centered, self-seeking, self-gratifying ways. Putting our focus on praising God and putting words to those grand and lofty thoughts of His greatness, in turn, creates a reciprocation of harmonious energy. It builds us up to honor and make God’s name great. Don’t forget, we do it for Him, although it simultaneously gives us great joy.
But that is the wonder of worship – He cares for us while we honor Him.
What do you think? Are there other ways we can take care of ourselves that bring honor and glory to God? Tell me your thoughts in the comments!
What do you think?